Rapid Descent Into Rampage

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Radio across the nation, killing us with radiation! 

I give my brother money to buy some bread and honey -
He puts on his cloaks and rags; 
He comes on home - totally stoned... 
He bought some nickel bags! 
I beat him up - society's corrupt! It's a social disease! 
The President and Parliament are vacationing overseas! 

Ripshit rampage! Blow the world to nothing! 
Ripshit rampage! Someone press the button!

For days and days I never got a raise...
I asked for one - I lost my job; 
Had a house but I was kicked right out 
Now, I got a bus stop! 
My brother's gonna cry 'cause he can't get high 
but there are other ways to leave the ground; 
He could take a plane but that would be insane 
‘cause someone's gonna shoot it down! 

My brother's only six, he's having sex - 
He's a one man show; 
Every radio station across the nation 
Never plays our rock 'n' roll! 
To put this hell to an end, we need a godsend, 
Life on earth can exist no more... 
When we die, no one's gonna cry 
For our teeming shore!

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Little Casimir's Fair

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The band starts a-rockin’- a wolf is on the loose!
His eyebrow’s a-cockin’ - he saw a nice caboose! 
Gets her on the dance floor, does a dirty boogie;
No need to pay a whore at Kaziuko Muge! 

Because… It’s the fair of Little Casimir! 
Around the fourth of March, every year!
Purchase a gintaras souvenir! 
Refresh yourself with an ice cold beer!

People start to pack in -the band fills the venue! 
The wolf’s now attackin’ sausage on the menu! 
So easy to swallow - he won’t hock a loogie ; 
Who knows what will follow at Kaziuko Muge?! 

Amber baubles, amber bottles, you bet we’re rockin’ role models!

The band plays the last dance but Lady Luck beckons: 
“Your 50/50 Chance gets ya sloppy seconds!” 
Bartender shouts,“Last call!” - the wolf gives a noogie... 
That turns into a brawl at Kaziuko Muge!

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Does the Carpet Match the Drapes?

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Sally is sunflower blond, works at Bed, Bath and Beyond; 
Mary’s fro is midnight black, she’s a kleptomaniac! 
Pat’s hair is pomegranate, she’s from another planet;
Apricot are April’s locks, heard her say “Steel Wolf rocks!” 

"Honey-hair" describes Heather, she’s always in tight leather; 
Charlene’s mop is champagne fizz, many split ends, lots of frizz… 
Alice is an almond cream, she’s chasing an acting dream; 
Cathy’s curls are caramel, there isn’t more to tell… 

All day I sit and wonder… not if man evolved from apes! 
Just how things are down under: Does the carpet match the drapes? 

Cindy is cinnamon red, she’s always high-spirited; 
Chamomile are Karen’s braids, she always got good grades… 
Martha’s mohawk has turned grey, I saw her the other day; 
Shelia’s head is clean shaven, I heard she’s misbehavin’!

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The Melon Song

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A wedding is expensive - he’s at the end of his rope; 
It’s made him apprehensive - she says they can’t elope… 
Johnny, time for a show! Grab your guitar ‘n’ amp! 
Where do “can’t elopes” go? John Cougar’s Melon Camp! 

Melons oughta be heavy for their size... 
Gotta use your hands, gotta use your eyes! 
First comes love, then comes marriage 
Then comes a cantaloupe in the melon carriage! 

They’re happily married but he’s still singin’ the blues;
He’s feelin’ so damn harried - honey don’ts ‘n’ honey do’s… 
Johnny, time for a show! Grab your guitar ‘n’ amp! 
Where can “honey do's” go? John Cougar’s Melon Camp!

…Then comes a honeydew in the melon carriage! 

He’s turned cold as a stone and rolls towards the egress... 
But she’s in no way alone... Too bad he wasn’t seedless! 
Johnny, time for a show! Grab your guitar ‘n’ amp! 
Where could seedless fruits grow? John Cougar’s Melon Camp! 

…Then comes a seedless one in the melon carriage!

Sleep On The Porch

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Two friends on a lawn, paper cups are drawn, 
Brandy is the reason; 
Take a couple sips, lick it from their lips, 
They're finding it quite pleasin'… 
Finish off a cup, fill it right back up, 
The cycle is repeated; 
But then who arrives? Their two lovely wives, 
Who feel that they've been cheated! 

Wives mean what they say 
When life gives 'em beets - they make borscht! 
Wives say what they mean 
Tonight, these guys sleep on the porch! 

Their drink's good 'n' gone but their thirst goes on, 
Hear’em yell “Ooo-wee!”; 
Open up a jug, drink and give a shrug, 
Then ask "Is that Drambuie?" 
Take a couple swigs, sing “War Pigs” 
“Gen’rals in their masses…” 
Run for their lives, because their wives 
Are gonna kick their asses! 

In the dog days of summer the porch can be nice 
Drinking brandy from a paper cup… 
In the dead of the winter it’s covered with ice - 
That brandy warms you right up! 

Two wives on a lawn, paper cups are drawn 
Brandy is the reason; 
Take a couple sips, lick it from their lips, 
They feel they need pleasin'… 

Summer of 69in'

 

Summer is the best season eating that which is pleasin’ - 
Wet clam ‘n’ big cucumber equals the greatest number! 

It’s the summer of sixty-nining… 
Though you go where the sun aint shining… 
You do enjoy some real fine dining… 
Every cloud’s got a silver lining! 

High noon, the fourth of July, hot dog ‘n’ hot apple pie
Delights summertime snackers blowing off firecrackers! 

I want a first-rate hummer, can’t have an endless summer; 
Sweet end melts right in my mouth... 
Spend summertime way down south!