A Royal Flush

A king sits on the throne,
Fills it with majestic mush,
Lets out a regal groan,
Concludes with a royal flush!

A queen sits on the throne,
Spied peepin' Tom makes her blush;
Her eminence’s time alone
Ends early with a royal flush!

Circlin’ round 'n' round!
Kinda like a crown!
Headed underground!
Till it's all gone down!

A prince sits on the throne,
Thinks ‘bout a hand-maiden’s tush;
What comes out of his noble bone
Disappears with a royal flush!

A princess on the throne
Pruning her imperial bush
That which made it overgrown
Vanishes with a royal flush!

Wiggle Room

Nothing new, too much to do,
I’m still standing, ne’ertheless;
Ev’ry day, things come my way,
Need something to relieve stress...

In the night, I sleep so tight,
I go somewhere to unwind;
There’s a space - my happy place,
I can get peace of mind!

We start in a womb, before we’re in a tomb…
We need a little wiggle room! (3x)
Once we’re inside... we feel we’ve died… and gone to…

On the road with quite a load,
Miles to go before rest;
Traffic’s bad, I’m getting mad,
It’s putting me to the test!

Yelling “Stop!”, here comes a cop
Asks where I’m driving today;
I state clear “A place of cheer!”,
He escorts me all the way!
(Repeat chorus)

(Bridge)
A place of leisure
which reveals treasure
from chests that measure
way up for pleasure...

Looks like you fellas could use a little wiggle room...
Well, why doncha come inside?!
WIGGLE!

Now older, life gets colder,
I got one foot in the grave;
Time at work, boss is a jerk,
Always treats me like a slave!

Cannot lie, before I die,
I think I will go insane;
Once I slip, I’ll take a trip
Right down mammary lane!
(Repeat chorus)

We need a little wiggle room! (Ad infinitum)

If I Was Me

Late night in a tavern,
A third whiskey in my hand;
Polishing off some wings,
Watching a local band;
The guitarist announces,
"We just learned this next song,
If anybody knows it,
You'd better sing along!"
If I was me that night, I would have walked out of there!
If I was me that night, I would have walked out of there!


Alright! I'd heard the tune,
And start to sing it aloud;
I don't know ev'ry word,
But it sure does please the crowd;
They yell "Get on the stage,
And join in with the band!"
Don'cha know it becomes
More than a one night stand!
If I was me that night, I would have walked out of there!
If I was me that night, I would have walked out of there!

(Lead)

Well, twenty years have passed,
I call my bandmates friends;
We've rocked countless taverns -
The music never ends;
Enjoy wings and whiskey,
Before I sing a note;
The cheers for the encores
Put a lump in my throat!
If I was me that night, I would have walked out of there!
If I was me that night, I would have walked out of there!

Woah yeah!

Trip To Europe

Flew into Heathrow, rented a car
Took a selfie at Big Ben!
Got to Paris via Eurostar,
Met a girl right by the Sienne!

I saw London, I saw France,
I saw someone's underpants!
(Repeat 4x)
Yes, I did!

Back home in New York, got some shut-eye -
I viewed much while away:
Checked out Buckingham Palace, Versaille
And some lovely lingerie!

I saw London, I saw France,
I saw someone's underpants!
(Repeat 4x)
Was it yours?(Repeat 4x)
Tell me!

London... FRANCE!
Under... PANTS!
(Repeat 4x)
London... France,
Was it yours? I know that it was! (3x)
Was it yours? I know! Tell me!

I saw London, I saw France,
I saw Micheal’s underpants!

I saw London, I saw France,
I saw Edward’s underpants!

I saw London, I saw France,
I saw Algio underpants!

I saw London, I saw France

Next time I’m going to Lithuania!

Rock Ir Roll

Atop Aukštojas Hill I stand…
A stone of amber in my hand;
I recognize my life’s true goal:
Release this rock and let it roll!

I ride midnight trains while giving pizza chants
When I get into sun - I shout out “Let’s dance!”
But I don’t get my crunch from some granolas -
I live my life playin' loud rokenrolas!

R.O.L. - rock out loud! Lithuanian 'n' proud!
R.O.L. - rock out loud! Lithuanian 'n' proud!

I spend my evenings serving beer to miners
That makes me one of Hazardville’s headliners!
In turn, I have fun with Romas 'n' Lolas -
I learned 'bout love playin' loud rokenrolas!

R.O.L. - rock out loud! Lithuanian 'n' proud!
R.O.L. - rock out loud! Lithuanian 'n' proud!

When I wear the wrong socks I get toe jam
But it’s delish on mama’s bone-in ham!
I wash it down with ice cold rum 'n' colas -
I'm loungin' live playin' loud rokenrolas!

R.O.L. - rock out loud! Lithuanian 'n' proud!
R.O.L. - rock out loud! Lithuanian 'n' proud!
R.O.L. - rock out loud! Lithuanian 'n' proud!
R.O.L. - rock out loud! Lithuanian 'n' proud!

Atop Aukštojas Hill I stand…
A stone of amber in my hand...

I'm Right, You're Wrong (End Of Story)

You make me late for work, they dock me an hour!
You say I'm filthy but said not to shower!
You sneak in the break room then wolf down a Twinkie!
You race to the bathroom then leave it so stinky!

I'm right! You're wrong! End of story!

You’re forever drinkin’ then it's me who must drive!
You keep me out till four then I get up at five!
You spend all my money - I'm eternally broke!
I'm always the punch line of your funniest joke!

Am I playin' with a full deck?
I got my best friend right by the neck!

You make me late for work but I must take the blame!
You make me hate myself! Everyone feels the same!
You spend my emotions - my heart's forever broke...
And you and I can’t be uncoupled from our yoke!

Better Than The Beetles

My boss calls me an insect,
He’s tyrannical and smug!
Commands me to genuflect
Or he’ll squash me like a bug!

But… I… Am…
Better than the roaches… nesting in a crack!
Better than the crickets… swarming in the grass!
Better than the skeeters… nipping at my back!
Better than the beetles… crawling up his ass!

My girl calls me an insect
Since I bug her all the time;
Buggery’s what I expect
But she says that it’s a crime!

But… I… Am…
Better than the roaches… nesting in a crack!
Better than the crickets… swarming in the grass!
Better than the skeeters… nipping at my back!
Better than the beetles… crawling up her ass!

VabalaiI! Vabalai! Vabalai...

Jonas! Paulius! Jurgis! Ringo!

Don’t swat this insect aside -
I’ll call some creeps to infest!
Now I have got you bug-eyed -
I say, I am quite the pest!

But… I… Am…
Better than the roaches… nesting in a crack!
Better than the crickets… swarming in the grass!
Better than the skeeters… nipping at my back!
Better than the beetles… crawling up your ass!

Please Hold My Nuts

John is hangin' outside
With bagged pistachios,
Chatting to local sluts;
“Yer shoelace be untied!”
Blurts out one of the hos,
John says, “Please hold my nuts.”

Hold my nuts! Hold my nuts! Please ho - ho - hold my nuts!
Hold my nuts! Hold my nuts! Please ho - ho - hold my nuts!

The gal gives a holler:
“Ha! I aint holdin’ it!"
John tells her he's a klutz;
He gives her a dollar
That sure is counterfeit
Then says, “Please hold my nuts.”

Hold my nuts! Hold my nuts! Please ho - ho - hold my nuts!
Hold my nuts! Hold my nuts! Please ho - ho - hold my nuts!

(Lead)

John thrusts the bag on her
Then bends to tie his shoe;
The chick yells “You got guts!
This bill aint real! No sir!
Whatcha tryin’ to do?”
John begs,“Please hold my nuts.”

Hold my nuts! Hold my nuts! Please ho - ho - hold my nuts!
Hold my nuts! Hold my nuts! Please ho - ho - hold my nuts!

(Outro:)

The girl says "No!" That don't mean yes,
John had better... acquiesce!
(Repeat 3x)
The girl says "No!" That don't mean yes,
Goodbye to this... nuttiness!

Skambutis!

Garsas, veda į mokyklą...
Garsas, šaukė į baznyčią! (2x)
Skambutis! (3x)
A-ding-a-ling-a-ling!

Garsas, žadina stovykla…
Garsas, kviečia į valgyklą! (2x)
Skambutis! (3x)
A-ding-a-ling-a-ling!

Garsas, kas beldžias į duris?
Garsas, man sako ten ugnis! (2x)
Skambutis! (3x)
A-ding-a-ling-a-ling!

Garsas, praneša vestuves...
Garsas, praneša laidotuves! (2x)
Skambutis! (3x)
A-ding-a-ling-a-ling!

Garsas, girdesi jo aidas…
Garsas, reiškia esu laisvas! (2x)
Skambutis! (3x)
A-ding-a-ling-a-ling! (Repeat chorus)
A-ling-a-ling!

Smokin' Crack Blues (R 'n' B)

Dined on Texas chili with beans of red and black,
Dined on Texas chili with beans of red and black,
Now it's a sleepless night in Austin due to a smokin' crack!
You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
Beef vindaloo? Yeah, that'll do! Dean do that sax now!

Went overboard with that fiftieth Buff'lo wing,
Went overboard with that fiftieth Buff'lo wing,
Now you roam the streets of Amherst 'cause nowhere allows smoking!
You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
Jamaican jerk? Yeah, that'll work! Al work that harp now!

Ate sizz-ling fajitas somewhere deep down south,
Ate sizz-ling fajitas somewhere deep down south,
Now the sizzle keeps a-sizzling long since they left your mouth!
You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
That sriracha? Y'know it gotcha! Clark's got this guitar now!

To cool down a bit use some cold cream when you wipe,
To cool down a bit use some cold cream when you wipe,
Now since you're so well lubricated just accept my crack pipe!
You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
A popsicle? Can cool the tickle! Mike tickle them ivories now!

You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
Ain't no jokin'! Your crack is smokin'! One more time, boys!

You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
You like it hot ‘n’ spicy, now you got the smokin’ crack blues!
Case of Busch? My mind is mush! Woo!